Friday
today i did ask
joanne out.. but too bad.. she cant go.. cuz she have netball training later.. yes i knw that.. but i just wanna go eat with her.. and later send her for her training?. when not even that little time?.
i asked her.. why are you distancing away from me?.
*that was how i felt* but she said.. she have been busy the whole week.. due to her iac project and cca.. and she have been stressed up..
so i told her mayb when you free.. and she said lyk never?.
i was lyk
.. .. .. .. .. ..
so this is totally
IT i guess?.
NEVER?.
got to walk ahead and not let this affect me.. not at such a time.. i shuld see what i can do.. when i tink i shuld do something abt it.. otherwise.. i totally will just look ahead.. but deep dwn inside.. i totally still am caring for her.. but too bad i cant show it..
the best way is once in awhile.. sms her and ask how have she been doin.. and just look ahead even the weather is bad.. even when rain is pouring down.. i still have to move on..
this is part and parcel of life..
getting rejected..
move on!!
carry on with my studies and my life.. and let relationship be a later part of my life.. if she is the one.. God will show it to me.. in his ways.. just leave everything to his plans.. i cant do anything with my own strength..
now i got a new task to do.. which was actually given to some of the guys by our mentor.. sort of setting up a SIG - special interest group.. which kinda in charge of things in eGarage.. in Ngee Ann Poly..
he wants us to help him refurnish the place.. sort of a design club thing?. so everything.. the ideas.. the materials.. are all lefted to us.. so kinda am goin to work out what to chng in the plan and all..
so awaiting for sunday nite to see how did my interview for ICT society goes.. and hope i get what i want..
feeling betta now after straighting out some of my thoughts.. and this is how ppl grow.. more mature.. due to many experience that they learn from their lifetime that is spent on earth..
let love be not a factor.. but a character that is in me.. which enables me to care for the someone
so special in my heart.. just letting her knw i care and am always there is good enough..
slow is the pace that i have to go..
not to rush..
Placed By Jonathan
7/23/2004 06:10:00 PM
*haiz*
things reallie aint workin out they way i want things to be?. she have been busy and she dun have time at all.. and she says that she prefer to be independent?.
INDEPENDENT!!
alone.. be by one's self.. no other company at all.. surviving on herself and do not need anyone to be there?.
therefore wad do i reallie have to do now?. just treat her well.. be there when she needs me.. carry on with my life..
or totally forget abt her and move on?. forgetting abt someone is totally very very difficult?. i shuld follow my
heart.. do what i want to do?. just wait for the time to come and see how things goes?.
she is stress due to much school work and cca's.. and i have to let her concentrate things that are important to her..
just let nature takes it course..
jonathan.. jonathan.. jonathan..
look what have become of you?. so in love.. do you realise what you have to do?.
"no.. i dont.. i am lost.."
learnt to take things step by step.. dun rush into matters.. cuz you wun reallie go anywhere when you rush.. take your time and have a clear head and know what you want to do..
love.. .. .. ..
Placed By Jonathan
7/23/2004 10:03:00 AM
Thursday
tomolo's friday.. so i will be asking joanne out.. kinda ask her go eat and all.. lyk see how is she doing?. ya.. just spending time with her.. so i hope that she will kinda say yes.. and wun go back and rest..
now even my mentor knws abt the situation i am goin thru.. he told me.. guys have to be thick skinned.. and touch her heart now.. so i guess i am goin to do it tomolo?. give her a ring and ask her out.. and let her knw that i care and am there for her..
and i cant go on waiting.. i have to do something sooner or later.. so i am goin to do it sooner.. and tomolo is the day my deadline meets and talk to joanne..
i guess i knw what i reallie want to do now..
i cant keep goin around and asking people wad to do.. cuz its me who is going to be with
joanne.. not my friends..
jonathan..
remember always to be yourself and set what you want to do and stick to it.. dun sway here and there.. cuz you wun reallie end up anywhere at all..
dun tink so much and let things take its course and it will naturally turn out rite..
i reallie am so deeply in
love with her.. otherwise i wun be so caught up with so many thoughts.. tinking abt her.. askin advise from people here and there.. i want the best for her thats.. mayb thats why i keep askin advise.. cant be myself..
and i realised thats all so wrong..
have confidence in myself..
naturally things will turn out rite..
Placed By Jonathan
7/22/2004 04:59:00 PM
Wednesday
now outside CS room.. which is lyk ICT society room.. waiting for my interview time to come.. wish me all the best..
just came back from playing snooker at Century..
err..
at beauty world that is.. and we had a short food session with lionel.. deng hui.. and cher yang.. haha,. and talked abt his past which is so interesting.. lyk the gangsters story.. and getting hacked by ppl and all la.. haha,.
its interesting to hear but not fun to mix around with..
now all my thoughts are about joanne.. this actually show how important she is to me.. too bad i cant reallie do anything right now.. i just to wait slowly and let things take its course..
thoughts are running thru..
in and out.. in and out.. in and out..
so chill jon.. you totally have too.. haha,.
the choice is reallie up to her.. so remember just give her the space that she needs.. and dun reallie rush things..
Placed By Jonathan
7/21/2004 05:55:00 PM
in class now.. PSP - programming.. *sighz* and this aint easy to understand.. wonder why am i here at times.. but wadeva ya..
finally.. my thoughts have been cleared.. kinda found out the reason yesterday nite.. so now my mind is really quite cleared?. din reallie slept well for the past few nites.. so now i tink everything is goin on well..
so the main thing i actually have to do is reallie reallie take things slow and easy.. i get just so anxious at times.. and just put too much stress on myself..
also did told her the last nite that i will be there for her when she needs me and am waiting.. so i guess everything now have to go on slow..
be patient..
havin ICT interview later.. so wish me luck that everything goes on well and i get into the comm.. and wish that my training do start next week.. but still..
have to wait for dad to recover first.. he's still recovering.. so cant reallie rush..
after class its to
MAMBO.. for pool playing time..
Placed By Jonathan
7/21/2004 01:18:00 PM
Tuesday
nothing reallie have been goin rite for me lately?. everything is in a mess.. i am feeling all so lost.. this is the onli place where i will actually state my feelings out.. i always keep my sorrow or pain to myself.. and at the end.. i get hurt so so much..
why all of the sudden such a thing have to happen?.
i am confused..
i reallie dunno how to react to the situation now.. i know you are goin to break/end the relationship with you bf.. and you want to concentrate on your studies and cca's.. but you dun have to kind of ignore me?.
or i shuld give you some space?. time alone?. to tink abt everything again?. i feel lyk my feelings have been fooled and toyed with.. i just reallie things could be made clear.. this reallie cant go on..
i just have too deep a feelings for you.. do you realise that at all?.
lost..
how i wish time could just stop at where i want it to be.. and just let things stay where i want it to be..
i tink i just have to give myself time and you time too.. i reallie want to let you knw.. that i care for you and will be there when you need me.. but do you knw that?.
i am reallie sorry..
dun rush jon.. let her tink thing thru and cool down.. you are worrying too much..
Placed By Jonathan
7/20/2004 06:47:00 PM
Monday
gotten back from far east.. i cut my hair.. wahaha.. but too bad.. i cant highlight my hair.. my mum totally shoutin at my ear..
*argh!!*
mum.. i am 19 this year.. pls pls.. give me some space to breathe and let me be what i want to be.. why you have to control everything or most of the things i want to do?.
why do you have to bring up an incident that happened a year ago?. its all over and i also realised my mistake.. why cant you just leave it where it is..
untouched..
it makes me feel all so guilty.. why do you also have to tell me what i can and cant do?. and also control over the way how i spend my money?. i know i need to save up.. whats wrong with spending on the things i wanna get?. its not that i am using it to do bad things..
*sighz*
its time lyk this.. its time lyk this..
dun need to start all over again.. cold war between mother and son.. i dun wish for it to happen.. i have been controlling my temper.. being good.. listening to you.. but why at times you cant give me some slag?. why do you have to pull me back when i am soaring up..
why bring me down again..
went to make a new specs today.. a new look..
new hair..
and i am goin to make braces soon..
a new me?.
Placed By Jonathan
7/19/2004 08:30:00 PM
Sunday
just gotten from sister's place.. elderest sister.. cuz today they celebrated kieron's 1mth.. my nephew by the way.. an uncle for the 4th time..
*sighz*
gettin old and older by the day and mths and years.. i was lyk yesterday when i first became an uncle.. and now an uncle of 4.. time really pass by when you dun notice it at all..
time pass so slowly when you are waiting or hating it.. but when you are enjoying the presence of people or enjoying.. in a snap of a finger.. times up.. haha,.
my aunts are all totally hip.. the CHONG FAMILY totally rocks!! haha,. cuz they talked to me abt relationship and advice and such.. where do you find aunts who do that?. *hmm*
and they told me.. be yourself.. cuz the girl lyks you for who you are.. dun listen too much advise from your friends cuz the girl lyks you.. not the people who gives you the advise.. how true rite?. haha,.
school tomolo.. cant wait for it to start.. mayb cuz i am starting to lyk poly alot.. *woohoo*
my mood today is quite good.. happy and all.. the presentation at church today went great.. reallie see the teens growing.. *getting old*
goin to buy a new back tomolo.. yes.. yes.. yes..
after so long..
Placed By Jonathan
7/18/2004 09:03:00 PM
