Saturday
apparently in my life.. things are not turning out right.. anywhere near right..
once a problem is solved.. another occurs.. the more recent the problem..
the more trouble..
right now.. i am at the mere edge of breaking down..
i haven been sleeping well.. and i have been drinking more..
a glass to make me rest.. school have so much problem for a person..
or make it four person to handle..
soon after comes my mum.. and all is explained in the previous entry..
right now.. lil star.. i want things to go well for us.. but at times..
things just dont turn out well as what you intend it to be..
mayb right now the distance between us is getting bigger..
all those quarrels we have.. and mayb its all my fault..
not spending sufficient time with her and all..
how are things goin to turn out now.. what will happen next..
currently i have been ignored.. turn down..
i am all confused.. all at lost.. and blanked..
tears rolled down.. with hurt down within..
but the still face.. staring out the window..
and recalling the times we spent together..
are you trying to accommdate me?. how are things goin to turn out..
there are so much questions that stays in my mind..
and want to be asked and know..
people are just prone to ponder.. right now..
such emotional hurt that both of us are goin thru..
what should i do next?. what should i do?.
what should i do.. what should i do..
mayb we should take awhile to cool down..
perhaps after a week or so?. things would be okay..
and i am leaving next week..
i tink its a good time to get away.. and just..
be really alone..
alone in the night..
Placed By Jonathan
9/24/2005 11:03:00 PM
Wednesday
have you ever hate your parents.. may it be your mum or dad so so much?.
they tie you down.. not letting you have the sufficient space that you want?.
at first you talk nicely to her.. den she comes.. sayin.. you.. your sisters..
all the same.. to listen to your mother.. whats the point in talking so so much..
and seriously it was just a question.. if i can go out for supper with frens..
and use the car.. den she says.. why need to use the car?. why need to go supper..
eat supper no good for the body.. wait next day the body system haywire..
its not the first time my mum kinda piss me off that much.. and its not the first time..
i wanted to move out and live somewhere else.. just out of this HOUSE!!
my mother is hell of an unreasonable person.. i seriously seriously cant stand it..
have you ever wish your mum will get off your back?. cuz the burden that you have..
most of it comes from her?.
being in poly now.. i study hard/smart.. to get good grades.. yah.. its for my future..
but still.. its also for your parents rite.. they place so much hope on you and that crap..
and when you ask for something a lil more.. they take it like.. you are 5 years old..
you dun understand no shit about the world.. like you have so many many things to see..
why cant parents.. my mother be more understanding?. i dun show the anger..
the sadness.. the hate on my face.. but my actions will show.. from now..
i wont speak to my mother unless i have too..
and now.. i wun drive no more.. if say my family is goin out.. i wun drive.. and i wun..
i say i wun go out with them.. i rather eat dinner alone.. den see her.. and the room..
is where i will always be.. and thats final.. my mum always do things and not telling me?.
at times.. i wonder if she even gives me any respect at all..
she would be the fox in sheep's skin.. this would be the thoughts and feelings kept..
you cant feel the anger or hate.. but you will see the different side of a son..
towards her mother.. a son close to his dad but not his mum.. close to his sisters..
but not to his mum.. close to his grandma.. but not to his mum..
not to his mum..
Placed By Jonathan
9/21/2005 08:31:00 PM
