i aint here anymore.

Monday

i am trying. to kick it off. this bad habit.
but its tough. i am trying.

and with the thought of you.
i still feel. the same. worst. i guess.
i feel lost. empty. that space in me is there.
i feel it. so so bad. i keep dreaming of you.
i. i. take shots to reduce the pain.
i inhale to exhale it all out. but.
i use pain to cover pain.
i am all broken up. i miss the days.
the time when everything around stops.
just for us. that eyes. that scent of your hair.
that voice and hand that i always want to hold on too.
the shoulders that always supports your head on rides.

i guess i am just irritating you each time i try.
each call you hang up. i get hit.
you have people around you that cares and love you.
friends. family. me. but i shuld be away.
i dont want to make you sad. i want you to be happy.
that smile on your face with you always have.
the bouncy you that you always are.
i will always remember the look you have when you want to say thank you.
but with a cute expression.

its always what i want for you but not thinkin about what you really want.
i guess i have been selfish. been an idiot.
i admit i still love you. i admit i still am waiting for you.
well. i know you just want to be alone. with frens.
i. i. understand. and yah.

all i can say. is take care of yourself.
and know people cares for you. they still do and always will.

i wonder if you read this. i just hope you do.
i.

i love you baby. i always have and always will.

Placed By Jonathan
8/21/2006 10:10:00 PM

Sunday

i sat up looking at our pictures.
i look at the wall with writings.
memories of times we had.
i wonder how you been and if those days.
could be back again.
i admit i keep trying no matter how much i fall.

i wish we could be back together.
all i ask is this chance.
all is in your hands and i really wish.
really wish i can know the answer.
i pop messages to see how you have been.
and well. thats where it stops.

each day i hold on tighter.
i cant let go at all and i know i never will.
cuz its only you who could fit in my heart.
remember that you are half of me.
and you are the only one that makes me whole.
will you come back to me?
i just want things to get better and better.
as i promise you the day i said i will change.
you know that i am always here.
still waiting for you. still waiting.

Placed By Jonathan
8/20/2006 02:15:00 AM